Lasagna noodles. That's all it took to almost reduce me to tears in the middle of the pasta aisle. Apparently, we are not the only family that cook lasagna on Christmas Eve. All of the noodles were out.
I did find a box of whole wheat noodles but that's borderline sacreligious. Then there were these Italian flat noodles... what the heck were those?
This is the first lasagna my mom won't be here for. She was in charge of the coordinating and the majority of the cooking. Luckily I have her recipes, written by her for my wedding present. However, it is a well known fact that my mother was not the best recipe writer. She cooked from memory and didn't measure.
So there I was, staring at the recipe, trying to figure out if she meant one large can of tomatoes or the small can and how I can't just call her on the phone to ask. So I got mad at that.
Then onto the pasta aisle, where there was no noodles to be found. I mean, I could have used the flat ones but mom's lasagna without the frilly edges? I think not. So then I started to get upset. It didn't help that the store was playing "I'll have a blue, blue, blue Christmas...". I couldn't get a break!
I was shopping late, like I usually do because then I can go by myself! Outings by myself are few and far between these days. The night people were starting to pull out pallets of boxes shrinked wrapped to stock the aisles for the next day. I was looking at on of the stacks when the guy asked if I was lost. I told him, that I really was just hoping to see if there was lasagna noodles in one of those boxes. He didn't see any so I told him, it's okay, I'll swing back by to see if they get unpacked.
I headed towards the milk section. I really didn't want to go out to a grocery store on Christmas Eve. I really just wanted to buy the noodles and get out of the store. And I really just wanted to sit there and cry.
I hardly turned the cart around when the guy came up to me with two beautiful boxes of lasagna noodles, frilly edges and all. I thanked him quickly because I didn't want him to see a weird lady who cries over noodles. I joked that it was good that he had found these because those wheat noodles just weren't going to cut it. He replied that it probably wasn't worth it. I agreed.
What is worth it though is cooking my mom's frilly noodled lasagna and enjoying the blessings I have this Christmas. By serving my mom's lasagna, I feel her love feeding us, nourishing us and guiding us through these times when we miss her the most.
{My mom, me, Carter at Zoolights last year}
